One week left here-- and my heart is breaking.
Carrying all of this alone has become too heavy.
My days are spent in tears.
My health is not good.
I feel like I’ve aged 30 years in the last year alone.
The emotional weight of this decision is suffocating.
This is the reality.
We leave December 2nd — just seven days from now.
Not because I want to.
Not because I’m ready.
But because if I don’t go, these dogs will not be safe.
They will be absorbed into a broken system, and they will likely become another California death statistic.
And the thought of that is unbearable.
The thought of leaving Steve ...
Our home...
His family…
The Huskies…
Franklin…
It breaks me in a way I can’t fully express.
This is not a move I want to make.
It’s not a life I want to walk away from.
But there is no alternative.
Ava, Ronin, Cowboy, and Winnie have nowhere else to go.
No fosters.
No adopters.
No humane backup plan.
No margin for error.
I didn’t start this rescue effort to quit.
And you didn’t donate to this effort to see me quit.
I am doing my best — truly — to see this all the way through.
But its toll is heavy.
Too heavy.
I feel hopeless.
Defeated.
And most days now, I feel like giving up.
Today is one of those days.
I don’t know how I’m going to do this.
And on top of everything, my nervous system is wrecked right now.
I know each of these dogs depends on my nervous system to feel safe — to be able to regulate, to settle, to trust, to move through this with me.
They need me steady.
They need me grounded.
They need me able to respond in ways that help them feel safe.
And right now… I feel wrecked.
Quitting is not something I want to do.
And it is not something I could ever live with myself doing.
But I don't know what else to do.
Airbnbs for one single night are **expensive.**
And they're in neighborhoods I'm not familiar with.
Hotels aren’t a good call for these dogs and their needs.
Our GoFundMe is still only 40% funded, and time is running out fast.
I have new household accounts already established in South Carolina.
For the most part, everything is ready for us.
Forward is the only direction, even though it feels like climbing a mountain completely blindfolded, a 2 ton boulder on my back, and with four precious lives tied to me.
Before I continue, I need to say this:
Please. No negative comments.
This is already heavy enough.
I’m not sharing any of this for attention.
Writing is how I process.
It's how I teach.
I’m not sharing to make anyone feel sorry for me.
I’m sharing for transparency.
I'm sharing for insight.
I’m sharing to raise awareness about the real cost, weight, and reality of rescue — this human-created crisis dogs are suffering through every day.
I share because monstrous efforts like this require community — a village of people who believe in and are working toward the same goal.
I also share because I want these dogs to reach the other side of this — and I want their story to inspire.
I know people care.
I know many are rooting for us from afar. And I’m deeply, deeply grateful.
But the day-to-day reality is that I feel painfully alone in the planning, the driving, the financial strain, the fear, and the heartbreak of leaving behind the life and people I love.
In these final seven days —community is needed now more than ever.
If you’re able to donate, share, send encouragement, or support in any way, it genuinely helps.
It gives me strength I don’t have.
It helps me keep going when everything in me feels overwhelmed, defeated, and like giving up.
It helps me continue a mission I cannot abandon.
Thank you for seeing us.
Thank you for caring.
And thank you for helping me carry something far too heavy for one person.
GoFundMe:
https://gofund.me/83407a134
Amazon Wish List (items need to arrive before we leave on Dec 2nd):
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FO6IN56H45BD?ref_=wl_share
With Love,
Kimberly — Ava, Ronin, Cowboy & Winnie
