Misbehavior or Mismatch?

Misbehavior or Mismatch?

Most “behavior problems” aren’t defiance.

They’re reflective of a mismatch.

A mismatch in energy.
A mismatch in expectation versus reality.
A mismatch in what the dog needs and what the human provides.
A mismatch in drive and outlet.
A mismatch in environment and understanding.

When we label a dog as “stubborn,” “reactive,” or “untrainable,” we often miss what’s really going on underneath —
a dog trying to adapt to a world that doesn’t yet understand them, and doesn’t provide.

Dogs are 100% dependent upon us to meet their physical, mental, and emotional needs.

And due to a general lack of awareness — or even sheer laziness — many barely get that surface scratched.

Behavior is begging for us to see this — to listen.

It’s information.
Communication.
A reflection.
Expression.
And an invitation.

Ava is a perfect example.

She’s not a “bad dog.” Not at all. In fact, she’s one of the most remarkable dogs I’ve ever known —
and after raising and working with countless dogs, I don’t say that lightly.

She’s a high-drive, highly intelligent, deeply intuitive dog — with energy that was never given the right direction, outlets, or leadership.

Her behavior — hypervigilance, defensiveness, reactivity — isn’t defiance.

It’s her nervous system saying, “I’m overwhelmed. I don’t feel safe. I don’t know what to do. No one’s got my back, and I’m alone in this.”

I recently had a powerful session with an animal communicator who shed heartbreaking light on this —
how Ava’s body is still carrying what life once taught her:
that safety isn’t guaranteed, that other dogs mean trouble,
and that the trauma she endured — including how she likely became pregnant — left a deep imprint on her nervous system.

Trauma rewires the nervous system.

A healthy, stable nervous system — one that feels safe — is open, receptive, and connected.

A traumatized nervous system, on the other hand, suffers from a lack of safety.

It becomes closed, guarded, disconnected — rewired for protection instead of connection.

Living in survival mode means living braced — waiting for the next shoe to drop, always scanning for safety or threat, ready to spring into action at any moment.

This, I can deeply identify with.

It’s an exhausting way to live — and when trauma imprints on the nervous system, it becomes the new normal.

When dogs live in environments that don’t speak to who they are, the result is imbalance:

Anxiety.

Overstimulation.

Reactivity.

Aggression — a defensive, often layered response:
“You ignored me, so I’ll make sure you can’t.”
“My earlier warnings didn’t work, so I’m using the one that will.”

Shutdown.

It’s not a “bad temperament” — it’s a system out of alignment.

Perceptions rooted in trauma.

As with humans.

Every dog is born with a unique blend of drives, sensitivities, and needs.

Our job — as the human end of the leash — is to learn who they are, not who we wish they were.

To create an environment that meets those needs, instead of fighting against them.

While I do believe mismatches are calls to awareness and calls to action, not every human is open, ready, or willing to accept that challenge.

And this is often where dogs like Ava are failed by us —
especially in today’s culture of whatever’s easiest, fastest, cheapest, and most effortless.

We fault them and blame-shift because it’s easier to do so.

We leave them in the yard, isolate them in a separate room, or confine them to a crate — because it’s easier to do so.

We rehome and relinquish because it’s easier to do so.

We abandon, walk away, wipe our hands clean, and convince ourselves we “tried” — because it’s easier to do so.

Countless dogs lose their homes, families, sense of safety and security — and even their lives — because of this.

Misbehavior isn’t a dog’s failure.

The great majority of it is rooted in human failure.

It’s feedback.

It’s the invitation to look closer, listen deeper, and do better.

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Chapter One — Behavior Isn’t the Problem. It’s the Invitation.

"The Human End of the Leash: Dog Training’s Missing Link"
by Kimberly Artley

Signed + personalized copies (with custom bookmark + highlighter): https://kimberlyartley.com/books-and-ebooks

Amazon: https://a.co/d/hb3kaf1

This photo was taken the morning after Ava was returned to me.

We sat quietly, taking in the morning light — one of our long-standing daily traditions.

This has been such a long, very difficult, challenging road.

But there’s something sacred about these still moments we share.

These are the same moments she’d sit beside me as I finished writing the book.

They remind me that healing isn’t loud or linear — it’s steady.

And that sometimes, the greatest progress looks like peace returning to the body.

She’s back with me now.

She’s safe again.

And I’m going to do everything I can to help her heal — to rewrite her history and begin anew.

This includes getting her into a 4–6 week board and train program so she can finally decompress, re-regulate, and rebuild.

I’m no longer able to operate as I once did, and these living conditions don’t allow me to give her everything she needs — not the way she needs it.

We’re 19% of the way toward raising the funds for her program, and I'm interviewing other trainers to see who'd be the best fit.

I know it’s been a long road, but we still need help. Please, please donate if you can.

This will give Ava the reset in life she so deeply deserves —
the chance to truly start over.

GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/0f40536c6